Say Wha-?

seriously…. Nigel really is an instant cure to depression (mayyyyyyyybe cause he was d cause to begin with).

Went out for a $70 dinner yesterday. Felt so frigging crap…. It was cause of nigel of course, cause this whole week i have not heard from him at all. And i think like the card/postcards i sent to him would have arrived dis week… But he didn’t say anything. Then i know i msged him alot this week but little or no reply on his end… So i was DAMNNNNNNNN scared, there goes another guy i scared off again…. At least he didn’t ban me on MSN though, but still, i was still quite worried and REALLY depressed over it…

Coz when i msged him Wednesday, he was busy. Den, he’s not replied my email yet (d one i replied on Tuesday(he had sent me an email on Monday))… Then in addition to all that, you know elaine, who has TOTAL LACK of impulse control… When i see nigel online, i HAVE TO msg him… And i do… And i did last nite too AGAIN. I sent him an ecard yesterday i think…. then… last nite, i saw him still online at 4am (UK time) i msged him AGAIN and told him that he shud get some rest (he had mentioned before that he wasn’t sleeping well already). But of course, no reply… SO mannnnnn triple depressed. DAH i know that i shud NOT be bugging nigel so much, because i was already worried that he was feeling a little bothered by me sending so much stuff in d mail to him, then summore ecard, den email then summore NOW I STILL message him again! YET what?? I DO, i msg him again!!!

Then this afternoon, RIGHT AFTER Aida tells me "don’t msg Nigel so much anymore k?" and i said to her "k"… what do i do??? i frigging MESSEGE him!

But actually, i was just gonna say sorry to him for sending so many stuff…

So I messaged:

"hey nige! hey, i’m really sorry if ur getting alot of stuff in d mail from me these couple of days (to come). sent them at different times but i think they’re all arriving around the same time. i’m really sorry if it’s abit too much for you! Pls don’t hate me!!!"

DEN i realized dat u know… dats it lah… if he doesn’t reply this msg, i dun think i’ll ever msg him again…

Then he did reply! aand better still he said:

Nige says:
dont worry… i was actually goin say sorry aswell… 4 not replyin 2 nethin recently. Lil bit bz. Damn u have snow!!!???! I want

Elaine said, "snow on monday! SHITZ!" says:
*shoves snow to nigel*

Elaine said, "snow on monday! SHITZ!" says:
there have all u want

Elaine said, "snow on monday! SHITZ!" says:
i feel bad, coz always buggin u when ur so busy… then i get scared i annoyed u… then i get depressed… then i go eat a $70 dinner to feel betta…

Nige says:
stop worryin… i did wished u had typed a lot more last nite tho…

One word: INSTANT CURE.

Totally my heart suddenly i can feel this heavy dark cloud lift up and awayyyyyyyyy…. And i felt like, not totally STUPIDLY happy but really…. I felt happy lah… Summore he say until so nice!

NEWAYS…. hmm if my bro or like dez read dis or anything like dat and is like "waitaminute WTF????????????????" or "DA HELLLLLL???????" Hmm. yeh. hmm.. call me b4 u sez nething to nigel, please. DA HELL!

well.. one word: nige.

of course, it seems like that’s the only thing i blog about here anyway….

since the last post, things been going okay wid me and nigel, as in, i have yet to screw things up! woah!

he’s a pretty laidback dude, so he pretty much takes it in like whatever *shock* *horror* advances i throw towards him. It’s like u know, if you throw a ball at a hard surface it’s gonna slam onto the wall and bounce back and hit u right in d eye. But if u throw a ball at some soft, shock absorbant surface, it wun be reflected back as much. Same goes here with nigel, he’s a soft surface, boleh dicampak whatever towards him and he seems nonchalant about it.

Dunno if it’s good or bad, good perhaps… Oso… i mean, i actually don’t quite know if he is taking offence to d stuff i do for him and all that… And i think he probably does know i like him. Like Kelvin says, DUH the dude has to be blind if he DOESN’T! Doesn’t seem to be responding in any way though. He’s still cool at times, and very cool at other times, and just normal most times. But all i know is that, i just hope he’s cool abt it, that’s all… He seems to be most of the times… Even if i edited pics his pics for him to put on his MSN (dude, abit obsessive move k!), i even DEMANDED why he never put the pics up and he did in the end, and he put up d pic i like too (although, maybe he didn’t put that one up cause i liked it).

And also like the other day, i chatted with him and before he left i reminded him to reply my email coz "my mailbox is gettin lonely wid all the junk mail".. Den he said he’d reply later dat nite. Then he DIDN’T (but thankfully i didn’t get to check my email that night too anyway!) budden he wrote back "Ok Ok, I know I said I would reply last nite, but got a bit 2 drunk… Sorry"

Then… I asked him for his address the other day cause i wanted to send him a postcard and he gave me his address… He said "When I read dis email n u asked bout sendin a postcard, i thought, so… send it. Im not bothered. Then a couple of hours later, kinda realised dat u dont know my address… dumb shit."

Oso… dis was abit long ago… But i think dis was when i started chattin with him abt like 2 weeks ago, and i realized that within 4 days, i got 2 emails from him (means i emailed him twice) and i also chatted with him twice… But i also forgot to ask how he was so i sent a third email and i apologized for messaging and emailing him too much (NO MEH?????????? even I thought so!). Budden he replied "Stop sayin sorry!! Or Im comin over 2 Boston or LA 2 whoop ure ass Really doesnt bother me." Shitzzzz he say that my heart oso melt liaooooooooooo…..

Den…. what else huh, so obvious i show dat i like him was when i asked him when his bday was. He said July. And i was like "SHIT!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!" then he asked "y?" then i said "nothing." then i told him i saw a bday card the other day and when i saw it I thought "wow! so nigel!". then he said "awww". then i said "screw it. gonna ignore dat tiny bit of information and send d card anyway. for all d birthdays i’ve missed!" then he said "thanx! yay!!" hehehehe so cuteeeeeee…

Ouh yeah… Den the other time, he changed his msn pic to one of his baby pics. Then i asked him if it was him i d pic… He neva replied :(… killed my mood for the rest of the morning. Then when i got to the office, a little later, he messaged me and said "if ur still there. yea, dats me in d pic"… Then i started chatting wid him and i asked him to send me d pic cause so damn small kenot see his face pun. Then he sent me the pic. Then i asked for more and he sent me another pic. And den i said "shitttttttttt! you were sooooo cute!!!" then he said "thanx. but are u sayin i ain’t cute anymore??!!??" hehehehe.. den i said "hmmm… Cute, still cute, but just not as cute!" then i said "damn! i’m mean huh!" then he said "damn rite!" and he put crying face… So cuteeeee~~~~~~~

Ouh and den dat day when i had asked him, errrrrrr…. merajuk coz he neva put up d pic i edited for him, he also sent me another pic….

Haihhhhhhhh…

Damn….. I DO like Nigel…. even if, i still, do not know why.

so super cuteeee~~~~