Say Wha-?

well.. one word: nige.

of course, it seems like that’s the only thing i blog about here anyway….

since the last post, things been going okay wid me and nigel, as in, i have yet to screw things up! woah!

he’s a pretty laidback dude, so he pretty much takes it in like whatever *shock* *horror* advances i throw towards him. It’s like u know, if you throw a ball at a hard surface it’s gonna slam onto the wall and bounce back and hit u right in d eye. But if u throw a ball at some soft, shock absorbant surface, it wun be reflected back as much. Same goes here with nigel, he’s a soft surface, boleh dicampak whatever towards him and he seems nonchalant about it.

Dunno if it’s good or bad, good perhaps… Oso… i mean, i actually don’t quite know if he is taking offence to d stuff i do for him and all that… And i think he probably does know i like him. Like Kelvin says, DUH the dude has to be blind if he DOESN’T! Doesn’t seem to be responding in any way though. He’s still cool at times, and very cool at other times, and just normal most times. But all i know is that, i just hope he’s cool abt it, that’s all… He seems to be most of the times… Even if i edited pics his pics for him to put on his MSN (dude, abit obsessive move k!), i even DEMANDED why he never put the pics up and he did in the end, and he put up d pic i like too (although, maybe he didn’t put that one up cause i liked it).

And also like the other day, i chatted with him and before he left i reminded him to reply my email coz "my mailbox is gettin lonely wid all the junk mail".. Den he said he’d reply later dat nite. Then he DIDN’T (but thankfully i didn’t get to check my email that night too anyway!) budden he wrote back "Ok Ok, I know I said I would reply last nite, but got a bit 2 drunk… Sorry"

Then… I asked him for his address the other day cause i wanted to send him a postcard and he gave me his address… He said "When I read dis email n u asked bout sendin a postcard, i thought, so… send it. Im not bothered. Then a couple of hours later, kinda realised dat u dont know my address… dumb shit."

Oso… dis was abit long ago… But i think dis was when i started chattin with him abt like 2 weeks ago, and i realized that within 4 days, i got 2 emails from him (means i emailed him twice) and i also chatted with him twice… But i also forgot to ask how he was so i sent a third email and i apologized for messaging and emailing him too much (NO MEH?????????? even I thought so!). Budden he replied "Stop sayin sorry!! Or Im comin over 2 Boston or LA 2 whoop ure ass Really doesnt bother me." Shitzzzz he say that my heart oso melt liaooooooooooo…..

Den…. what else huh, so obvious i show dat i like him was when i asked him when his bday was. He said July. And i was like "SHIT!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!" then he asked "y?" then i said "nothing." then i told him i saw a bday card the other day and when i saw it I thought "wow! so nigel!". then he said "awww". then i said "screw it. gonna ignore dat tiny bit of information and send d card anyway. for all d birthdays i’ve missed!" then he said "thanx! yay!!" hehehehe so cuteeeeeee…

Ouh yeah… Den the other time, he changed his msn pic to one of his baby pics. Then i asked him if it was him i d pic… He neva replied :(… killed my mood for the rest of the morning. Then when i got to the office, a little later, he messaged me and said "if ur still there. yea, dats me in d pic"… Then i started chatting wid him and i asked him to send me d pic cause so damn small kenot see his face pun. Then he sent me the pic. Then i asked for more and he sent me another pic. And den i said "shitttttttttt! you were sooooo cute!!!" then he said "thanx. but are u sayin i ain’t cute anymore??!!??" hehehehe.. den i said "hmmm… Cute, still cute, but just not as cute!" then i said "damn! i’m mean huh!" then he said "damn rite!" and he put crying face… So cuteeeee~~~~~~~

Ouh and den dat day when i had asked him, errrrrrr…. merajuk coz he neva put up d pic i edited for him, he also sent me another pic….

Haihhhhhhhh…

Damn….. I DO like Nigel…. even if, i still, do not know why.

so super cuteeee~~~~

no shit how did they know?? … i DO have a crush on that fella be–

(hehe!)

You’re the words that come out easy,
And I am speechless at best.
Your star it seems to shine above the rest.
You’re the face before the cameras,
The smile i’d like to earn.
The closest thing to perfect,
In a hollywood to burn.
You’re the beauty that is deeper,
Than eyes can merely see.
The closest thing to perfect.
But the farthest thing from me.

I’d love to be,
The shoulder that you cry on.
I’d love to be,
The friend you call when things are great.

You’re the dream that hasn’t ended,
And I’m still anxious for rest.
Your words they seem to hang above my head.
You’re the bud before the flower,
Unfurls into full bloom.
Captivating beauty,
But it maybe all too soon.
You’re the song that writes a story,
But leaves a lot to read.
The closest thing to perfect,
But the farthest thing from me.

And like I really deserve a chance to,
Sit across the table,
And tell you that I think you’re wonderful.
And I think you’re something special.
I guess this is my only chance to,
Say I wish I knew you,
Because I’m sure you’re wonderful,
If I’d get to know you

Power-dressing man leaves trail of destruction .

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man built up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched carpet and molten plastic and forcing firefighters to evacuate a building.

Frank Clewer, who was wearing a woolen shirt and a synthetic nylon jacket, was oblivious to the growing electrical current that was building up as his clothes rubbed together.

When he walked into a building in the country town of Warrnambool in the southern state of Victoria Thursday, the electrical charge ignited the carpet.

"It sounded almost like a firecracker," Clewer told Australian radio Friday.

"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to erupt."

Employees, unsure of the cause of the mysterious burning smell, telephoned firefighters who evacuated the building.

"There were several scorch marks in the carpet, and we could hear a cracking noise — a bit like a whip — both inside and outside the building," said fire official Henry Barton.

Firefighters cut electricity to the building thinking the burns might have been caused by a power surge.

Clewer, who after leaving the building discovered he had scorched a piece of plastic on the floor of his car, returned to seek help from the firefighters.

"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field meter and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said.

"I’ve been firefighting for over 35 years and I’ve never come across anything like this," he said.

Firefighters took possession of Clewer’s jacket and stored it in the courtyard of the fire station, where it continued to give off a strong electrical current.

David Gosden, a senior lecturer in electrical engineering at Sydney University, told Reuters that for a static electricity charge to ignite a carpet, conditions had to be perfect.

"Static electricity is a similar mechanism to lightning, where you have clouds rubbing together and then a spark generated by very dry air above them," said Gosden.

da heck la! how did THAT happen! Seriously! 40,000 watts??? shouldn’t he be dead??? Geez!!! I didn’t know that static electricity could get THAT high! geez!

so.

nigel.

hm.

so.

boston.

hm.

so.

a job.

hm.

so.

a life.

hm.

so.

the future.

hm.

hmm.

so.

malaysia.

hm.

so.

i should have just told desmond that i had feelings for Nigel back then.

godma would have probabaly told me "first you have to clean yourself up more and be a proper girl before you can get a guy like that, elaine"

it would have sucked to have heard that from her. but it’s not as if what you did hear was not as bad, anyway, plus, you know, what you actually did end up doing, ALSO messed things up anyway.

and we’re now in a more wretched state than before.

so maybe anything else, would have actually been better.

don’t you think?

I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since that I last slept with you.

i liked how he kept silent as if observing and absorbing things around him and the conversations someone else was having. i like how it seems that he doesn’t talk much. i liked how when he did, he wasn’t like those incredibly shy people who are just impossible to talk to. it was not impossible to talk to him because he really did still, talked with me.

in retropspect, i should have tried to have known him more first before jumping the gun. of course i should have.

yet, i was just captured, attracted to the little things that he was. like how he smiled and how he didn’t quite understand chinese when godma tried to trick him, and asked him a question in chinese. and how he stood there and you could see he was translating the question in his head. so cute.

and i remembered again, another thing about him that was really endearing. How he would not set his watch to Malaysian time and everytime desmond asked him for the time, he look at his watch, pause, then count eight hours forward with his fingers. So cute.
I did ask him though why he didn’t just set his watch to Malaysian time, and he said that it was too much of a hassle because in three weeks he’d have to set it back again anyway. Kinda sad, actually, if you really think about it. Or at least, doesn’t that show that, perhaps, unlike Desmond, Malaysia isn’t very much home, but rather, just a vacation…
I wonder if that’s also a reason why he felt tortured being in classes with those British born Indians who looked down on him cause he’s not Brit. That’s abit sad, though, because i would feel that, he was very much, MORE brit than Malaysian… I don’t know. He seems that way maybe too.

and i was caught, too, in that moment that evening when we sat talking in desmond’s room. and he was telling me about stuff as i looked at him looking out into the sunset reflected in his eyes. He was awfully chilled about the shit that was happening in his life, actually, the way he spoke abt it anyway. maybe elaine, sometimes, some people don’t need your saving. have you ever thought abt that?

i wish you meant it. i know we both don’t know each other well, if not, at all. but i wish u meant it, how you seemed to have been that night, minus the shock of course.

i guess i was too clouded myself to be a fair judge of how you felt, actually. maybe i was entirely wrong… and by the looks of it and the silence on your side… i think i was… indeed… entirely wrong.

about everything about you.

and i should just give up.

"surrender the fantasy" as they said in Reality Bites.

and yet i hold on to another distorted in my fucked up head, illusion.

why? elaine, why? why do you always do this to yourself?

because i am incapable of talking myself out of my fucked up delusions, that’s what.

My fake plastic love
If I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted all the time
All the time

But gravity always wins

My Horoscope

Energy Meter

money	love	attitude

Today’s Forecast

Self-motivation is the name of the game, especially around career matters, so spend your time carving out an independent path, and you’ll be happier in the end. Any sense of limbo you had will definitely dissipate.

dissipated NOT. hellz.

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what’s
the first thing you look at?
i look away actually =P and i grumble. my hair probably cause it’s always out of control.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
- i think five bucks.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
- protest. regress. digress. a mess.

4. Favorite planet?
- jack names the planet

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list
on your cell phone?
- hm. lemme check. Elaine Teh. I think.

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
- haaa?

7. What shirt are you wearing?
- Saves the Day T-Shirt and Blink-182 hoodie… it’s damn cold. Actually my hands are freezing… summore i wanna go to Boston in WINTER. urgh…

8. Do you "label" yourself?
- as crazy, yes.

9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?
- haaaaaa? my fav shoes (only cause i can wear them forever and not get blisters) is some RM20 pair of shoes i bought in BB plaza like 9 months ago. All my shoes are not branded, the only one that has a "brand" is a converse shoe.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
- not too bright but not too dark, i mean dark, kill ur eyes. bright, gives me a big headache.

11. What do you think about the person who took
this survey before you?
- took it off somewhere.

12. Do you know what an 8-track is?
- music player?

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
- lemme think. CHATTING probably… or doing Michiko’s paper… i mean EDITING Michiko’s paper.

14. What did your last text message you recieved
on your cell phone say?
- i’m going to arizona! Sorry! Id love to c them tho! Esp. w.u!! But take the bus love–  from michelle.

15. Do you ever click on Pop-ups or banners?
- sometimes, the one that ask me to shoot stuff wan i’d play with it. hahahaha.

16.What’s a saying that you say a lot?
- errr… WTF?! SHIT! The hell! (hmmm see a pattern??)

17. Who told you they loved you last?
- my dad…………… *haih*

18. Last furry thing you touched?
- furry… super furry animals…. erm…. I dunno.

19. How many hours a week do you work?
- i’m an unemployed bum. due to laziness, that is.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get
developed?
i’m not sure.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
- huh? i can’t even remember this year.

22. Your worst enemy?
- I’m my own worst enemy

23. What is your current desk top picture?
- some LAUSD school bus my brother too back in June.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
- said? "drive safely k!! and thank you"
-msg? "i’m scared of dez lah!!!"

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks
or to be able to erase all of your regrets, what
would it be?
NEED U ASK??????????? OF COURSE THE MILLION BUCKS! geez!! regrets?? THE FK! WHO CARES!!!! Money will buy all my regrets away! geez!

Consider this a letter that I never sent
However inconsiderate it seems
Do you still consider me,
consider me the boy you laughed with
or that you learned to live without?… I suck,
I know I’m late,
I know you waited

You wouldn’t get me on the phone
And you couldn’t make me not alone

My phone bills stacked up by my bedside,
with your picture, you’re looking surprised
You’re what makes New England so great
My island nights are all spent dying
Wait for summer to become wrought with lips,
my wishful thinking

You wouldn’t get me on the phone
And you couldn’t make me not alone
(Yeah we can be)
Yeah you’re a blue eyed lightning bolt
(Yeah we can be)
I’m a national phenomenon
(You wouldn’t get me on the phone)
Nothing’s absolutely definite ’til it’s absolutely, definitely gone (definitely gone)

I never thought this day would end (never thought this day would end)
I never thought tonight could ever be this close to me (close to me)
So let my hands stray past that boundaries of your back
to get you breathing (get you breathing)
And get this started (get this started)

Yeah we can be, yeah we can be
You wouldn’t get me on the phone
(Yeah we can be)
Yeah you’re a blue eyed lightning bolt
(Yeah we can be)
I’m a national phenomenon
(You couldn’t make me not alone)
Nothing’s absolutely definite ’til it’s gone

If you have to take a true love quiz then believe me dear, it’s not true love.